World of Kink / Kinks /
read more →

Members into Sub

: 0

Sub Groups

: 6

Sub Topics

: 32 view all topics →
Miss Nikki
Miss Nikki 51F
Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

D/s - Leadership Skills

By: Miss Nikki 51F | Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Effective leadership is the missing link for most D/s relationships. This is hard to accept if you are Dominant, because ultimately it falls on your shoulders, and that's a heavy fucking weight to carry. You see, you are human and human errors will most definitely occur.If you claim you are not superman/woman, it is an excuse.
"If a submissive fails, it is the Dom who failed" I don't know who said it, I was just told this over and over.

This is no different than running a business, with all its moving parts. You would not lose your temper with an employee and scream or snip at them when they ask a question, nor lecture them like they were 5, and yet expect them to work effectively,. Or else, you would suck as a business owner and no one would want to work for you...Why would a submissive want to comply if that was how it was? Just like an employee, she is looking for effective positive leadership.

The submissive is required to worship you and your body. You are omnipotent in your control and the sub's submission. A submissive must be selfless , in order to submit. To blame the sub, is to analogize: You have a dog. That dog is loyal, is always happy to see you, and gives 100% obedience overall...Do you think of the dog as an annoyance? Do you tell the dog that it should not think of you as God and be independent, like there is a switch to turn off their need of you?

You took another human being as your submissive, required them to want to be selfless and need you, but they can't be too needy? Does that not sound ridiculous to you? I mean wtf? Ive never understood Doms that say that they expect a sub to be independent and you are not God..
When I say she/he thinks you are, they go into a diatribe about this being a normal relationship other than the dynamic...?
A submissive is selfless and gives themselves to your every desire. Being selfless is what is required of a human being in order to make them able to emotionally handle submission. Re read that paragraph over and over again and again.

The only person a Dominant can relate being selfless to, is the person who raised you or a parent, They love you unconditionally. That is why it devastates a sub, if you leave them, or threaten to. You run the risks of cray cray stalkers, because of this very selflessness.

Well, hello, here is your aha moment...
You have to be a leader to finesse this human you decided to take as yours and help improve their submission, or whatever they need help doing. You have to be able to figure out their triggers, and make that aid effective, without pushing them to the edge of breaking.
Remember: "Never break your toy?"That was one of the tenets of BDSM, if you are like me and came in with a mentor and immersed yourself in learning properly (which not many of you do, just sayin; So tired of that, but I digress)

What you all need to do is work on effective management skills, for a guide on how you approach that human. When you lose your cool, you are no longer in control. Your anger is in the power struggle. Tonality is the fine line between abuse and dominance, I mean, I would imagine the ideal Dom would have been someone like the Karate Kid's Mr. Myagi, approaching struggles in a thoughtful manner, and calm, so situations de-escalate.

I once wrote a post and said "If you don't have control of yourself, you have no business controlling another human being, who is a living, breathing, feeling, creature" And you cannot claim to not being more responsible for a submissive, than a vanilla relationship would be based on. A vanilla relationship does not usually have that unconditional love's why there is a "gift" of submission...

Clearly, you are looking at this differently now that you have read this post, and all of us can expect you to raise the bar on yourself....

Song for this post
Emotional Rescue - The Rolling Stones

Total comments:8

Created:Nov 08, 2022

Last comment:Nov 08, 2023


Total views:147