In this post, we will review both Fetlife and Kinkyads to see who is the better site for the kink community going into 2021. But before we do, we must understand what kink exactly is and how it plays a roll in one’s life. According to Wikipedia, the term kink is defined as “In human sexuality, kinkiness is the use of non-conventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies.” Fetlife Banner So, with such a broad result as to what the term means, we are going to do something different here. We will give you the answer as to who is better for the kink community at the start of the post vs the end. And the winner is: Well, both. Hun? How can that be? The answer is simple, everything is not black and white, remember there are fifty shades of grey in-between and that is no more relevant then it is when comparing Fetlife to Kinkyads. Yes, both sites are in the world of kink, but on different spectrums. Something else you might not know is these two sites are not competitors of each other, as they are that far apart when it comes to comparing them. For example, Fetlife while into kink relates it towards BDSM and yes that is a form of kink. Fetlife is the leader when it comes to BDSM and has been for over 10 years now. On the other hand, Kinkyads is also into kink, but for them, they see kink is having sex with strangers, watching your wife have sex with other men, swapping couples, etc. So if you are on the more aggressive side of things, then Fetlife wins and on the softer side of things, Kinkyads wins. Now that you know that, this is not going to be a who is better post but just an overview as to what each site is. What Is Fetlife? Fetlife Home Page FetLife is a Social Networking site designed for the BDSM, Fetish & Kink Community. Over the past few years, there has been an explosion in the BDSM arena thanks in part to books such as 50 Shades of Grey that have recorded record sales. Fetlife launched back in 2010 and has been changing and growing ever since. With over 9 Million members, its hard to see that they are not the leader in their own niche. BDSM practices will most often involve consensual violence that is made up of both physical and psychological domination, submission, and masochism. This can easily explain why today’s society has so much skepticism towards the BDSM community. Although the BDSM world is not for everyone, with the wide range of possibilities going from the mild to the shockingly wild, it’s something new people might run from when visiting the site. BDSM is for people who are open-minded and are willing to experiment in a new lifestyle as well as explore all aspects of their sexuality and most likely cross over and set new boundaries. But when you want to talk about BDSM and make friends in this world, your Facebook page is not the best fit as you might not want your friends and family members knowing you’re interested in BDSM, and for that reason is why there became a market for sites like Fetlife. Fetlife Scares People Off When you join Fetlife, you just need to fill in the basic info such as location, member name, sexual preferences, etc. Then you will need to verify your phone for spam protection. Yingying Zhang Back In 2017, the Fetlife made unwanted headlines after the website was connected to the abduction and murder of a Chinese woman who attended the Unversity of Illinois. Fetlife Member Charged With Murder Brendt Christensen was a member of Fetlife and had visited the group titled “Abduction 101” and yes, if the group on Fetlife was not there, that does not mean he would not have killed her, it just means he would have gone elsewhere on the internet to learn about it so you can’t blame Fetlife here. Nevertheless, this was a huge blow to Fetlife and the BDSM community as a whole. On FetLife, people post stories that reveal fantasies and sometimes are seen as taboo, oftentimes illegal, but over the past few years, Fetlife started to clean up their site by deleting and prohibiting anyone from posting content promoting non-consensual acts such as abductions, rape, and anything that could leave markings that become permanent such as deep cutting. The website also has removed consensual/non-consent from their website. The site’s administrators also started censoring several call-out pages where members would ask users to share the account names of people who abused them on Fetlife. Conclusion The world of BDSM is far from perfect, but they do have a strong following of members who are willing to help protect other members and they do not allow for any type of harassing of other members. Just like other social media platforms, Fetlife is no way free of toxic behaviors from the members who are willing to use online abuse, bullying, and sexual violence to get their needs filled. The conclusion is just because of a few mishaps, there have been thousands of meetups that have gone just fine. So Fetlife is just like any other site such as Kinkyads, Plenty of Fish, and Match when it comes to safety online. You need to follow the basic rules such as: never invite someone to your home in the first few days of the meeting and you always tell a friend where you are going for a meetup with someone. So if you are curious about the BDSM lifestyle then for sure give Fetlife a try, there are thousands of people who enjoy helping new people walk through the waters and help you get your feet wet when it comes to BDSM. Fetlife FAQ’s What is Fetlife? Fetlife is the largest social network that caters to the BDSM community How do I delete my Fetlife account? If you would like to delete your Fetlife account, simply login to your account and go to this page https://fetlife.com/deactivate How do I search on Fetlife? Once you login, there is a search icon on the top of every page, just type in that box and you’re searching How many members use FetLife? According to the home page there is 9 million members who have registered to use Fetlife over a 10 year span. What is Kinkyads? Kinkyads on the other hand is known as a site for swingers and anyone who is seeking to hook up with random people for a casual encounter also known as no strings attached hookups. Kinkyads is the newer site only being online for two years now, and less then a year ago the site went through a major overhaul going from a Craigslist style just ads type of site to a full social networking site like its counterpart. Kinkyads discovered a market once Criagslist removed their casual encounter section in 2018 and from then it’s been off to the races. Over the past year, they have seen a huge spike in signups as more and more people are learning about the milder site for people with kinks. Members who use Kinkyadscan connect with other members and share in their interests and learn from each other. Unlike sites like Adult Friend Finder (the main competitor to Kinkyads) the people who run Kinkyadsmake spam a mission to stop, Kinkyads makes you verify your phone before you can join and don’t allow VOIP or landline numbers so if you don’t have a cell phone you are out of luck. Who Uses Kinkyads? Kinkyads is used by people from all over the country who want to find a quick and ongoing fix to their sexual needs with other people such as an unhappy wife or lonely woman in need of sex or just couples who are seeking other couples to play with. If you are a man seeking a couple, a woman seeking a man, a man seeking a man, no matter what, they have it. The site is designed to help people meet and connect with other like-minded people who are seeking the same thing as you are. Even though Kinkyadshas nowhere near the members of FetLife, let’s see where both sites are in about five years as people into casual sex out-number the people into BDSM by a 20/1 ratio so this means over time Kinkyadsshould pass FetLife in membership and as long as Kinkyadscan keep the spam down to a minimal and continue to deliver they will shine. One thing Kinkyads has nailed that no one else has is the reviews. Members can leave reviews on other members through the trust system so if you come by someone with a trust rating of -7 then you will want to read the reviews and maybe stay away from that person. Yet on the other hand if you find someone with a +20 rating, again read it but this is a sign this person should be fine to meet as these members want to protect their positive trust ratings. Kinkyads members also report any escorts who sneak onto the site to have their account removed as they have no plans on going down the same path that Backpage did. The Final Verdict Both Win Both sites offer a great experience for anyone no matter what side of kink you are on. Fetlife is the king of their sector and if Kinkyadskeeps growing they have a great opportunity to become the king in their sector as well. Even though they are going up against Adult Friend Finder with over 100M members they feel they can get thereby providing a better service.