The ABDL (Adult Baby Diaper Lover) lifestyle is a unique aspect of the kink community, encompassing those who find comfort, pleasure, or fulfillment in role-playing as infants or wearing diapers.

Welcome, Adult Baby Diaper Lovers

Today, I want to discuss Adult Baby Diaper Lovers (ABDLs) and address the numerous misconceptions surrounding this aspect of the kink community. 

My aim is to bust myths and enhance understanding of ABDLs. My initial encounter with ABDLs was through a show called “My Strange Addiction,” which, as the title suggests, did not offer a flattering portrayal. It presented ABDLs in a problematic way, not as a consensual kink but as a dysfunctional dependency. 

It took me eight years and involvement in the BDSM community to realize that the show’s depiction was misleading and didn’t represent the consensual nature of this kink.

Allie is a 25/f babygirl

The ADBL Portrayal

The portrayal of ABDL (Adult Baby Diaper Lovers) in mainstream media, including TLC shows and YouTube channels, often lacks depth and understanding. It’s frequently presented in an unflattering light, seen as unusual and attracting negative commentary.

However, ABDL encompasses a complex and diverse community. It combines those who enjoy role-playing as infants or babies with those who have a preference for wearing diapers. Importantly, these elements, while sometimes overlapping, can also be distinct, allowing for a broad range of individual preferences and interpretations within the ABDL community.

First, let’s talk about the adult baby side of things. Like I just said, this is when somebody likes to role-play being an infant or a baby, and this could be for a variety of reasons. Sexual enjoyment is one aspect, other people like it because of the escape it offers from everyday life stresses and others like being nurtured and cherished by a caregiver.

This can also offer a sense of internal security and safety common interests would include things like wearing onesies or other adult-sized baby clothes using baby toys such as rattles or even using bondage that has a little bit of a baby flair to it.

Some examples could be lockable scratch mitts or even straight jackets and yes of course this can also include things like cribs. Some ADBL’s have entire rooms in their homes that are dedicated to having a nursery to fully encase themselves in the role play.

Most see it as theater of the mind, they don’t really have anything additional in terms of props or costuming so it’s really up to your individual preference. Some engage in this solo while others have partners known as caregivers which could take on a variety of roles like; mommies, daddies, nannies or even older siblings.

There’s also an overlap here with yet another related kink known as an adult nursing relationship. This is when somebody stimulates lactation with a partner or if milk is not produced they simply role play the act of being breastfed.  If they don’t have a nursing partner, some adult babies do also purchase breast milk or they might use formula instead.

Of course, as with diaper lovers this doesn’t always go with being an adult baby but the two do have a lot of overlap.

Regan is a 21/f babygirl

Understanding Adult Baby Diaper Lovers

Diaper lovers, compared to adult babies, are more strongly correlated with a sexual fetish; however, it doesn’t only have to be that again.

Some people wear diapers because they promote a feeling of security and comfort or because they enjoy the sensation. There can also be a lot of rituals that are associated with the act of wearing a diaper, which can also be comforting and nurturing.

This would involve being bathed and powdered by a partner before putting on a diaper. For some, the simple act of wearing the diaper is what they find enjoyable.

This kink also can cross over into water sports or scat play and the act of soiling the diaper is what’s important and what is really fascinating.

Not all abdal’s or adult babies or diaper lovers consider themselves to be part of the BDSM community. Some of them do consider what they do to be entirely separate from their whole community, not unlike, say, for example, spankos. however, at the same time, for some ADBL, there is enough overlap between their BDSM interest and their ADBL interest to consider their ADBL to be a subset of BDSM.

So, for example, one of the appeals to an ABDL may be the power exchange element they may like it when they have a caregiver that has authority over them.  This means they can punish them or take care of them. There’s also the bondage element, like I mentioned earlier, by being restrained to a changing table, having scratch mitts that are lockable, being put in a straight jacket or locked into a crib, or even something as simple as a pacifier.

Of course, we can’t forget masochism either; for a lot of ABDL, they like the idea of physical punishment. This is where they get punished for soiling a diaper or for sneaking out of a playroom. Spanking activities, such as over-the-knee spanking, hairbrush bankings, or spanking over diapers, are also very popular. Verbal scolding might also be used In addition to or instead of physical punishment particularly if there is an overlap with humiliation.

Stacy is a 22/f babygirl

Is ABDL a form of Pedophilia?

Some people actually find the act of being forced to pretend to be a baby or wearing a diaper to be humiliating, and that’s why they engage in it. I think the reason why this kink is so widely reviled and why people find it disgusting is that they essentially assume that sexual acts are involved, and so, therefore, isn’t this like a roundabout way of engaging in pedophilia?

Well, I just want to take a moment here to discuss that because I have covered this numerous times, and there are still a lot of people who cannot help but see pedophilia when they see things like this.

Essentially, pedophiles are attracted to actual literal children, and that is not the same as adults engaging in consensual role-play.

I know it might seem kind of bizarre to separate those two, but isn’t that still basically the same thing? No, but at the end of the day, what a pedophile is looking for is a child to be a sexual partner, and they are looking for other adults to engage in role-playing.

If you don’t believe me, maybe you will believe some science because in 1993, sexologist Ray Blanchard and Kurt Flynn published and discussed a series of case studies involving infantilists, also known as adult babies, and noted a distinction between them and pedophiles.

The study showed that pedophiles were attracted to children and objects related to children or childhood due to a desire for a child’s sexual partner.

Adult babies imagined themselves as children and adopted the objects of childhood to increase the power difference between themselves and their preferred sexual partners, who were usually adult women and with whom they acted out masochistic fantasies

Rae is a 19/f babygirl

ADBL Demographics

What I find to be really interesting here is actually the demographics of the ABDL community, which you might have noted, were hinted at at the very end of that quote because I didn’t really know anything about the makeup of the world of ABDL. 

But, as it turns out, this is actually fairly common in comparison to many other fetishes. This has actually been widely studied; for example, about 90-plus percent of the ABDL community identifies as male.

This would also explain why so-called babies that would be adult babies that either prefer to or like being forced to cross-dress are so common now.  I would say, based on my own anecdotal evidence, that that number could be changing slightly depending on where you look.

I think, for example, if you are observing the ABDLs that are also primarily part of the BDSM community, that the percentage of women involved is probably a little bit higher because of the influence of people such as Binky Princess that have helped to bring CGL, DDLG, and ABDL more into the forefront of the world of kink.

However, I would say if you were looking at solo ABDLs or people who engage in an ABDL primarily for sexual fetish reasons, that 90-plus percentage is probably still fairly accurate, though I would be fascinated to see an updated study that looks at these demographics a little bit more closely and breaks them down by category just in a little bit more of a fine-grained way.

Actually, speaking of studies, there has been a fair amount of work to propose theories about why ABDL exists, like where it originates from and why it’s so popular, and that I think is something that’s worth looking at because that’s not something we see a lot with very many other kinks or fetishes.

John Money proposed his love map theory as one explanation for why ABDL exists and what a love map is. Essentially, it is an erotic template; it tells us the sort of people that we want to have sex with or that we find attractive and what our ideal relationship would look like.

He theorized that for adult babies, the nature of their love map had been altered compared to the typical range, most likely due to non-sexual childhood experiences that may have resulted in genital arousal that the child otherwise wouldn’t have been aware of. 

Another theory is erotic target location error, in particular, erotic target identity inversion, where erotic arousal is not based on one’s sexual partner and being attracted to them as would be the typical erotic target.

 But instead, focus on the role that you are playing and imagine yourself in one particular form, in this case, an adult baby. The application of this could go beyond just simply explaining ABDL also to be a theory that explores why people might be into things as diverse as sexual pet play or even amputee fetishism.

Bren is a 37/f babygirl
Final Thoughts

Now for my own theory; I think if the interest is primarily based on things such as masochism or power exchange, it’s fairly obvious that for many of us, parental discipline is our first experience of a power differential relationship.

As for ABDLs, it could be some of these early memories that they are latching onto; for example, the transition from diapers to potty training can be filled with threats and punishment and bribery, and our brains are really good at holding on to that information and eroticizing it as we go into our later adulthoods.

And for ABDLs, it simply happens to be that instead of imprinting on schoolgirl skirts or pigtails or mom’s high heels, they happen to go to even earlier memories and experiences.

But of course, no single theory is going to provide a definite answer for all ABDLs in particular. This doesn’t really do a good job of explaining, say, non-sexual adult babies and diaper lovers, and so while knowing the why behind our kinks can be fun, it’s also not required, and if you don’t really know where your interest began or where it came from that’s also totally okay.

Lacy is a 39/f babygirl

A final note, i do want to end with a positive because i know for many adult babies and diaper lovers there can be this deep sense of loneliness.  This is because of how often these interests are ostracized in mainstream media and so many people just assume they’re never going to find anyone like them.

However, the good news is there are actually a ton of people out there who have this exact same interest. There was actually a study that was done around 2014 that showed that nine percent of all groups dedicated to fetishes were for ABDL, in particular. unfortunately, the source for this information came from the now defunct Yahoo groups.

But I do think groups on fetish websites and groups in general are growing every year.  ABDLs do have a large presence here on World of Kink, and they have many of their own dedicated convention groups, forms, and YouTube channels, which I think are worth exploring.

Adult Baby Diaper
Brandy is a 23/f babygirl

So, if you are an ABDL and you are reading this and you feel lost or ashamed or guilty or just feel really really alone. I will put links to some of those resources down below for you to check out and further your education on the subject because i am by no means an expert, however with all that being said i hope you got something out of this hopefully if you’re not an ABDL you learned a little bit more about this very misunderstood community.

If you have any follow-up questions or anything you want to share, please log in to the site and join one of the ABDL groups. I hope you have a great rest of your day and a great rest of your week bye for now.

Adult Baby-Diaper Lovers FAQ

What does ABDL stand for? ABDL is an acronym for “Adult Baby Diaper Lover,” representing a community of adults who enjoy regressing to a more infant-like state and/or the use of diapers.

Is ABDL related to a sexual fetish? For some individuals, ABDL is a non-sexual practice focused on comfort and relaxation, while others do explore a sexual fetish aspect. Personal experiences vary widely within the community.

How common is ABDL? It’s hard to determine the exact prevalence of ABDL, as individuals often keep their practices private due to societal misunderstanding and stigma.

Is ABDL considered a mental health issue? No, being part of the ABDL community is not a mental health disorder. It’s a lifestyle choice or personal interest, much like any other hobby or preference.

Do all adult babies use diapers? No, not all participants engage in diaper-wearing. ABDL practices are individual, and people pick the activities and items that comfort them most.

Is there a specific reason people choose the ABDL lifestyle? Reasons are diverse and personal, ranging from stress relief, comfort, and coping mechanisms to sexual expression, among others.

Can individuals in the ABDL community lead normal lives? Absolutely. Many ABDL individuals lead successful, typical lives with careers, families, and everyday activities.

Is there a risk if someone is an ABDL? There’s no inherent risk in being an ABDL unless activities are conducted unsafely or unhygienically. Like any lifestyle choice, personal well-being, and consent are paramount.

Are there communities or social groups for ABDLs? Yes, there are various online and offline groups where ABDL enthusiasts can connect, share experiences, and find support in a judgment-free environment.

Should someone “out” or disclose being an ABDL to family or friends? Disclosure is a personal decision and should be approached with consideration for one’s own comfort, safety, and the openness of the potential confidante.



  • Jessica Fox

    Jessica is a seasoned blog writer with over 15 years of experience living and exploring a diverse range of kinks. Her passion for writing is matched only by her enthusiasm for the lifestyle, which she brings to life through her engaging and insightful content. Jessica's deep understanding and personal involvement in the kink community have made her a respected voice in the field. Her blog offers a unique blend of personal anecdotes, thoughtful commentary, and practical advice, making it a go-to resource for those interested in learning more about the world of kink from someone who has not only observed but also actively participated in its many facets.

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